Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
