you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
