too bad you live with your parents still
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
