life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
