if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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