TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
