Is it normal to miss your booty call?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
