they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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