If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
