hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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