Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
