She said her name was "party"
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
