it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
