i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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