Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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