You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
