I wannas sexs uuuuu
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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