I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
