Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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