Swine flu. Run for my life!
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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