Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
