nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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