I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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