Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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