her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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