My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
