Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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