I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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