Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
