I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
