You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
we have officially lost it.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
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He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
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I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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