i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
