Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
