When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
