I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
