but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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