should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
