I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Randomize
