how can u be prego again
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
