I wish I only lived at night.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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