dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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