you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
