weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize