id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
