Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
