you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
