dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
