I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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