if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
