My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
