Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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