he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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