North Korea, Best Korea!
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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