Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
