Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
