remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
