I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Randomize
