he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
