Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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