he thought i was a dude.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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