3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
