Texts From Last Night

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  (434): View more from Virginia

  I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.

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  (434): I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach. http://tfl.nu/7n8a
  Replies (14) Good night (4233) Bad night (745)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Don't tempt me, I need beer money.

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  (306): So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob? (1-306): Don't tempt me, I need beer money. http://tfl.nu/pmfd
  Replies (26) Good night (6196) Bad night (1035)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!

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  (832): i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!! http://tfl.nu/co2h
  Replies (28) Good night (5619) Bad night (738)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.

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  (937): just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy. http://tfl.nu/n1q0
  Replies (17) Good night (1510) Bad night (5889)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous

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  (978): The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous http://tfl.nu/iens
  Replies (15) Good night (5493) Bad night (1445)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.

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  (647): She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters. http://tfl.nu/h38s
  Replies (23) Good night (3040) Bad night (1947)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car

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  (713): Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car http://tfl.nu/eifp
  Replies (11) Good night (3654) Bad night (1249)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.

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  (330): I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it. http://tfl.nu/zgfe
  Replies (18) Good night (4263) Bad night (1301)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.

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  (512): Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough. http://tfl.nu/vxm3
  Replies (10) Good night (1693) Bad night (742)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka

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  (618): I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka http://tfl.nu/yt16
  Replies (4) Good night (1836) Bad night (1324)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?

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  (317): on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week? http://tfl.nu/z5ru
  Replies (10) Good night (1971) Bad night (747)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.

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  (217): Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister. http://tfl.nu/slb6
  Replies (9) Good night (1723) Bad night (598)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.

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  (717): We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes. http://tfl.nu/zq4p
  Replies (5) Good night (2087) Bad night (673)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I guess I'm open to more types of dick now

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  (425): I guess I'm open to more types of dick now http://tfl.nu/myaz
  Replies (5) Good night (636) Bad night (283)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge

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  (419): He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge http://tfl.nu/86hl
  Replies (2) Good night (288) Bad night (522)

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