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• (847): View more from Illinois

  he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.

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• (858): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.

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• (972): View more from Texas

  The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard

  (972): View more from Texas

  OHHH and there was a Batman too.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight

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