Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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