I faked an abortion last night.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize