I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
is it fun? or sober?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
